Our First Trip as a Family of Four
Minus Yoshi. As always, sorry pup.
We did it. We braved our first little family vacation with our Sour Patch toddler and sweet but feisty newborn and survived to tell the tale.
Before you go thinking I’m some kind of hero, know that this was no Herculean cross-country trip. But a 2.5-hour drive through the mountains is also no small feat for a family. In the middle of consecutive 110+ degree days, you’ll do anything for a little reprieve. Even drive with a newborn who hates the car and a 3.5-year-old boy with boundless energy and vocal exploration.
Since we moved to Arizona in 2017, Kyle and I have loved spending a few weekends in Flagstaff each year. During the hot summer months, Flagstaff is around 20 to 30 degrees cooler than Phoenix.
This foresty college town is the perfect little getaway that’s not too far from home but feels like a different state.
We’ve also taken Leo to Flagstaff every year since he was born, each trip changing the way we experience our getaway town. The most memorable (aka horrific) time was when Leo was about 18 months old, and we were so miserable that we were back in Phoenix not even 24 hours after we left. It’s not always pretty, but it’s always worth trying to escape the heat.
Driving up with two kids and having done this wrong a handful of times now, the best thing we had going for us was low expectations.
I had one intention for this trip - be outside as much as possible. That was it. I didn’t care if that meant playing Paw Patrol with Leo for hours on end on an Airbnb patio (thankfully it did not), but that was the intent. Soak up the benefits of the sun, the earth and the fresh air that Quinn and I have been missing in our postpartum cocoon.
If we got outside - and we certainly did - then the trip was a win. But no vacation comes without some memories and lessons learned, so here’s what I can share about our first experience traveling with TWO small children.
Traveling Wins
Both kids SLEPT. If you’ve heard me cry about Leo’s sleep issues, first off thank you for still being my friend and second, you know that any night this child sleeps through the night is still a miracle. The first two times we brought Leo to Flagstaff, first as a baby then at 18 months, he was up all effing night. We had brought the pack n’ play those times and set him right next to our bed. Then when he was 2.5, my mother-in-law was with us and Leo slept in her room. I think he made it til 3am that time, which was, sadly, a win.
We’ve learned from those past trips to spend the money on an Airbnb that is laid out the way we want it - meaning Leo is nowhere near our bed. We also like having a patio we can sneak out to after bedtime so we can enjoy the cool night air and some much-needed booze.
We sprung for a house where both kids had their own rooms. We brought all the crap that makes for their perfect little sleeping environments they have at home - Quinn’s bassinet, Leo’s nightlight, and both kids’ white noise machines. And while I’m making my kids sound like divas, I should admit that Kyle and I wouldn’t have left the house without our eye masks either.
I didn’t expect Quinn to sleep well on her first trip. She was only seven weeks old, and she’s used to sleeping in her crib at home, not the bassinet. I only had Leo’s horrific experiences to draw from. Again, low expectations are really what set you up for happiness.
Quinn’s sleep pattern was exactly as it was at home - a 6-hour stretch to start then a 4:30 playful wakeup, then sleeping til about 6am. I couldn’t believe it! We even brought her little baby bath so we could keep her bedtime routine the same, and this 7-week-old baby knows when it’s bedtime. No fuss, she is ready. Every night this amazes me.
Leo is used to his dog alarm clock letting him know when it’s okay to leave his room in the morning, and this is where I took a gamble on not bringing it. We did his usual bath and story and bedtime routine, then I told him Dad would come in his room in the morning when it was time to wake up for the day. This was key!
Then Kyle and I experienced something entirely new to us on our Flagstaff trips as parents. We were laying in bed at 5:30am, awake, with no toddler demanding things of us yet. The baby was still sleeping, too. This was later than we get even at home, so we stretched it til almost 6:00.
The miracle of our Flagstaff vacation - for the first time in 3.5 years, we SLEPT IN.
When Kyle went into Leo’s room, Leo was lying awake and said, “I was waiting for you for a long time!” I’m sure he was.
So, sleep was the biggest win because it was the lowest expectation. Hallelujah!
This Airbnb had a nice stash of toys, extra bonus for Leo! We planned only one big thing to do. And it was a good one. Mostly.
We made reservations at the new Barefoot Trail, a sensory trail that you walk barefoot through packed with obstacles and fun things for littles (and adults) to enjoy. It’s one mile long and a $10 ticket gets you two hours to be out there exploring. We thought Leo would love it.
That’s where we were wrong to have high expectations.
Kyle and I loved it. Quinn enjoyed being outside and peeking out from the sling at what we were doing. And Leo loved it. Until he didn’t.
As an adult, you hear “one mile” and think oh, easy. Then you remember your kid has never walked one full mile at a time in his life, so he gets tired 20 minutes in of creeping along at a snail’s pace.
We enjoyed a snack at a picnic table and let Leo put his shoes back on, and he made it without whining for a few more minutes. Then Kyle and I cringed when he said “I want to go home and watch PAW Patrol on the iPad.” We forced him to walk it out and endured the whining for a while before Kyle put him on his shoulders, along with his backpack and the diaper bag. Good times for Dad….
Still, if your kid can stick with it to the end, there’s a super fun hammock that seemed to make it all worth it for Leo. Then he didn’t want to leave.
But this was a win in that it was the one big thing we wanted to do and had a time commitment for. The rest of the day was built around this event. We got lunch after, then went back to the Airbnb so Leo could nap.
Kyle tried to entertain Leo in the afternoon by taking him to an indoor waterpark, which unfortunately was a bust. There was an hour-and-a-half wait to get in, and Leo WANTED TO WAIT! Quinn and I hung back and took a nice walk along a trail by the Airbnb. Kyle and Leo were out for about two hours and never actually got into the waterpark. Still, Leo came home happy.Whole Foods prepared meal. If you have small children, you know what Herculean strength and patience it takes to go out to eat as a family. This is kind of a hard pill to swallow because there are many great restaurants in Flagstaff. But again, we picked one time to go out to eat and our one favorite restaurant to muster the strength for (Tourist Home Cafe, all day baby).
When we got into town Friday night, Kyle got a few groceries at Whole Foods, including a basic cooked family-size meal of grilled chicken breast, green beans, and sweet potatoes. This was dinner Friday and Saturday night (Leo had Cheetos and orange juice…) - easy and satisfying, followed by a couple cold Corona Lights on the patio. Second lesson of traveling with kids, lower your standards and just get your needs met.Airbnb with a patio: Like I said, we just wanted to be outside enjoying the cooler weather and the smell of pine trees in Flagstaff. With our littles, we weren’t going to be on trails doing that. (Families who hikes with tots, teach us your ways!)
We brought some of Leo’s outside toys so he could keep himself busy while we enjoyed our patio coffees in the morning (iPad with PAW Patrol) and patio beers in the evening (dump truck and bulldozer). One day we’ll be a family on the trails, but for now it’s PAW Patrol in the background while we enjoy our coffee.
Traveling Challenges
Missed potty opportunities: The biggest parenting lesson I learned on this trip was to plan potty breaks for the car ride. I know you’re all wondering, how did you not think of this, Michelle? Because I was too busy prioritizing their sleep environments, and hey, at least that paid off.
About 5 minutes after the last rest area on the way to Flag, Leo had to go potty. Our emergency stop on the side of the highway consisted of Leo peeing in the woods and Quinn having a blowout. On the way home, Leo didn’t want to go potty when we stopped because he was watching PAW Patrol on the iPad. And for some reason we let him decide that was okay. To no one’s surprise, when his movie ended 10 minutes later and we were back on the road, he had to go potty.
Third lesson of traveling: Plan potty breaks and make all children stop what they’re doing to go.The car naps fell through. We usually time any long car ride with Leo’s nap because he’s a solid car-napper. Well, guess who isn’t…his sister! Quinn’s vocal hatred for the car kept Leo from sleeping on the way to Flagstaff, and we had an overtired tantruming boy by the time we got there. On the way home, he prioritized PAW Patrol over everything and we had an overtired tantruming boy on a Sunday afternoon, the hardest longest day of most parents’ lives. It’s time to re-evaluate our car timing.
Quinn’s vocal hatred for the car. I think you get the picture on this one. I got to squeeze my big butt between the two car seats for the 2.5-hour car ride home, one hand keeping a binky in baby’s mouth and the other hand doing an I Spy book with Leo. Good times for Mom!
All in all, our little getaway was well worth it and a good practice run before our big trip to Illinois later this month. Maybe Kyle and I will get a child-less trip to Flag soon to get in our usual way of experiencing the town, but for now we just remember the season of life we’re in. Parenting teeny-tiny children is a unique time filled equally with patience-defying tantrums and heartwarming smiles and “I-love-you’s.”
Moral of the story, low expectations = higher happiness.
Have any favorite spots to travel with kids or tips for making it enjoyable? Please share!
TS Song of the Week - “The Lakes”
This song is full of poetic imagery and artsy detail, which feels like Flagstaff to me. I’ve always seen Flagstaff as a nature getaway where I would go write (though I don’t think I’ve ever done any writing while I’m there), and this is a nice soundtrack for that.
Michelle , I loved every bit of read. Thanks so much for sharing it. Love all of you.